For those of you still listening...

I almost forgot I had this blog on here! You all know I've tried and failed with blogging many a time, but I always seem to come back. But just so you all know, I got on here and checked out the last few posts I wrote. They were, as I guessed, from 2011, right around the time I started to care about my body.

And mean, actually care. You can see, or at least I can remember, the struggle it was for me to feel love for my body and myself. I remember how difficult it was because, two posts ago, I paid for P90X and couldn't do it past two weeks. I remember my boyfriend telling me, "Stop saying you're fat!" (He hated that...he thought I was beautiful, and perhaps he was right).

He then went on to add, that if I really thought I was fat, then I should be putting the $160 dollars worth of exercise DVD's to use. He wasn't being rude or putting me down. He was just stating the truth. And he was saying it in LOVE.

Gosh, I remember the impact that had on me. First of all, it made me MAD. LOL how do you like that?! It made me MMMMAAAADDDD!!!!! Why did it do that?! Well, probably because he was right. And it pissed me off knowing that he was right ;) Then it really hit me. This was pathetic behavior. I couldn't believe my lack of self control. I remember crying in the shower, just begging God, please...please Lord help me! HELP ME!!!! I needed His hand on all of my attempts!

I also gave Him a list. Yes, people. I gave the Almighty a list. I told Him, you know what? I need a partner. There is NO one around here who I know that wants to be healthy and exercise with me. My family isn't interested, my boyfriend isn't interested, and my best friend lives far away. I also told Him that I needed to start eating healthy but that I didn't know how to get rid of all the cravings and temptations. I may have even mentioned a gym membership in that list. But most of all I just remember wanting to be loved. Not just by Him, because I KNEW that He loved me.

I wanted ME to love me.


I love Happy Endings... don't you? Well this is even better! It has turned into a Happy Beginning for me. In April of last year, after my failed p90x attempt amongst many others to turn my lifestyle around, God blessed me yet again. My neighbor enlisted me as a gym partner. She asked that I watch her kids once a month, and she would PAY for my gym membership. Free? Yes, that membership seems like a gift because I love those kids that it doesn't feel like work. And my best friend and I joined My Fitness Pal in which we could encourage each other to keep eating healthy and working out. She lived about 4 hours away, but she still stuck it out with me. That kind of support is priceless. God is good.

Then somehow, I was able to eat healthy! I kept praying and trusting the Lord, and you know what?! He did this WITH me! I didn't think about dinner while I was eating lunch anymore. I didn't crave fast food. I stopped being so hungry all the time. I ate SO healthy. The healthiest I think I've ever eaten in my life. And then, I got happy. God showed me by learning about HIS love, how to slowly start loving myself. And I do! I love me!

Guys, I had a little bump around the holidays, but I've been back since January.

I've lost 21 pounds since last year, and I am SO never going back to who I was. I thank God so much for His blessings and presence in my life! I would have never been able to do this on my own...let me tell you. Without Jesus guiding my every bite and step, I wouldn't be here right now. I've started running and practicing for the 5k. I am almost there! I also plan on running in our community's 2 mile race this summer. My boyfriend has become inspired to start running with me! This is a feat in and of itself! He also doesn't eat fast food as much as he used to. I am so proud of how far I've come, but like I said, the credit goes to Jesus. I will continue to enlist His help in everything I do. I hope you come to know Him and all the love He has for you. I also hope you will see His touch on your life and see all the amazing things that can happen when you let Him in!!!
xoxo until next time...
Sam

Ok I'm a slacker. But WAIT.

It's official. I officially skipped like 3-4 days of p90x. I am SORRY but I am extremely tired! On sat, sun, and mon, I get up at 5:30am to work at 7am-7pm and then on sunday I had to work my second job so it was an 16 hour day!!! I just needed to rest. Hopefully I'll be back up and running soon.

I got a special box in today! A box filled with Jay Robb's special all natural whey protein! Anybody try this yet? I'm super excited because it goes with this fruit flush diet of his that I am going to start on saturday when I work my long 12 hour day. It'll be perfect! Now, I know this is kind of drastic to do a flush like this...but it boasts of a 3-9 pound weight loss in 3 day! I'm hoping for between 5-9!!! haha.

This is what the fruit flush looks like:

Day 1: 5 servings of whey protein every 2 hours then a veggie salad as your last meal (water all day)

Day 2-3: 1 serving of fresh fruit every 2 hours then a veggie salad as last meal (water all day)

So, pretty simple...I can do this once a week for 12 weeks if I'd like to get down to my goal weight. Now, the only problem with doing this so often is the expense. I bought a 12 oz. bag of this special protein and it cost me $23 and some change. The biggest box they have is like, seriously, $137!!!! Let's just see if one of these here fruit flushes works first and THEN maybe I'll think about forkin over some big bucks in exchange for some weight loss haha.

So, like I said, I know it sounds drastic and kind of unhealthy to some of you...but I have researched it and you know my mom is a nutrition FREAK. So, I have had her approval and I love and trust my momma. :D

Wish me luck all ya'll!

XOXO Sam

Day 2 of P90X

Day number two of P90x :D

Why am I smiling you say? Why am I smiling even though I am in physical pain? haha

well, it's because I know what is happening to my body. The pain that I feel equals gain. My muscles on my chest/back were ripped up and now they are healing back together with each night that I sleep. I am proud of what I am doing no matter how hard.

Yesterday was like I said above, the chest and back DVD. It was intense, full of push-ups and pull ups (I used resistance bands). Also some dumbbell work. I pushed myself really hard, but I also expected it to be a lot harder. Maybe because of all of the review I read about it being the toughest thing ever. I was actually worried at the end of the workout that I must have not done a good job because it didn't seem that hard. Oh, but it will be. Once I start doing actual guy push-ups and not girl push-ups it'll be so much easier! And obviously because I'm hurting today, it goes to show that I did do a good job yesterday.

As of today, I did day number two Plyometrics. This workout consisted of squat, lunge, and jump exercises.

THIS WORKOUT MADE ME NAUSEOUS.

That has never happened to me in a workout before. Maybe I was trying really hard!!!

I know I told you guys my long term goals...and I refuse to stop imagining myself in a bikini out in the sun on the river THIS SUMMER. It's one of the things that keeps me going and working so hard. I think tomorrow is shoulders and arms so, I really hope that I can keep up with my sore upper body.

I'll get back atcha tomorrow guys...much peace, love, and lunges.

Sam

Felt kinda Frisky! (1/12/11)

So, I really wanted to get started on p90x today. So I did :D

I’m super excited and totally motivated at this point. Although, I did take my before pictures and I about wanted to cry. Looking at myself in the camera was just a little too much for me. I mean, I knew I was heavier than I liked, but thinking about what everyone else including my BOYFRIEND saw was humiliating. I don’t want to screw up my body anymore. Something has got to change. So I did my p90x first day! I started off with the Classic program (offers the Lean as well) and got to working on my chest and back as well as the Ab RipperX.

My impression of it was this…wow! Great workout! I was really nervous it was going to be super hard. Well, I don’t think it was as hard as it could have been for me because I really toned it down a lot. I didn’t want to hurt myself on the first day! But after the first week I am really going to BRING IT because I want those dang results!!! I think that people also just say OMG IT”S SO HARD because they mean, “It’s difficult to even do them move, let alone do 5 of them”. Military pushups, diamond pushups and dive-bombers are new things to me. I have never done them in a workout before so obviously I will only be able to do the modified ones, which I did. If I can ever get fit enough to do a regular guy pushup then heck yeah I’m gonna rock those ones too! But like I said, the most difficult part of it for me was being able to even get my body to do 4-5 of each pushup style.

Ab RipperX was also the same sort of thing for me. I definitely felt like it wasn’t as hard as everyone said it was. I think that maybe it’s because I stopped in the middle of each 25 rep move. Well, then DUH Sam, it’s not going to be that hard because you didn’t do the whole thing! So, that means that I’m gonna have to push it like CRAY-ZAY next time.

In the end, my arms feel like rubber, and that was probably the greatest pain from my workout so far today. I’ll let ya guys in on how I feel tomorrow, it could totally be a different story….

P.S. This post was supposed to be posted yesterday but since blogger.com is down, I had a hard time getting it in. Sorry guys!